what a night

I like to think that I'm getting better,
but I think I'm just getting worse.

There was a football game last night.
BS told me to come over. So I left at half time and went to his house. His little brother was asleep and his parents were gone. I got there, he came outside and hugged me, and then we went up to his room. He turned his TV on, kissed me a little, and then we went to his bed. He turned off the lights because I wanted to "see the stars on his ceiling" and we ended up making out more. We snuggled a little bit. Then he put his hand on my stomach and asked me if his hands were cold. I laughed and said yes, and he slowly slid his hand down my pants, and fingered me. He's the best one yet. We made out some more, and then snuggled some more. I could tell he wanted a blow job, so I said I was sorry. He was like "Now what?" And I was just silent, awkwardly. Then he put his hand back and said "How about this again?" That was fine with me. Afterwards, he told me how horny he was. I felt really bad. We talked about it after I left, and I explained why I didn't blow him. I just couldn't.
And ever since, he's been acting weird.
I don't know what I did, but I think he lost interest.
CD likes me.
And I think LH does too.
I just want to cry right now.