Okay,
so much has changed since the last time I wrote a legit post.
Me and BS had a thing, since like the first weekend of school. It was pretty off and on though, and we were constantly trying to hang out and then yesterday we FINALLY did.
I went over to his house a little before four, and SG and IF were there. They started talking about getting weed. I started thinking and I DID want to know what it felt like to get high, and I wouldn't see my parents until after the football. So I had about six hours. It was perfect. Some seniors brought us the weed, IF paid. It was 1.6 grams aaand a bowl. IF had to go, so once he left, we walked in the wood and sat down in a little clear spot. It was the first time I'd used a bowl. And it was amazing. My throat burned so bad though, and I couldn't stop coughing. We were sitting in a circle, playing kid cudi, it was great. SG kept saying stuff like "You're really cool" and "I wish all girls were like you!" Then they started talking about how high they were, and I still wasn't fill anything. I kept getting the first hits, and I was started to get soo pissed that I wasn't high. But then we started walking out of the woods to go to the football field, and BS started holding my hand, and I didn't really care. Then I looked down at the straw I was walking on, and there was little cities, and I was the giant. I don't remember anything about walking across the street, and then all the sudden everything was kind of slanted. Every ten seconds, I was remember I was high, and I would get so scared. It felt like I was in a movie. I didn't like it, at all. I got so scared I was going to get in trouble. That was going on all the way to the field, every fucking ten seconds. It was hard as shit to carry on a conversation. Anyways, I don't even remember if we were holding hands or not, but SG asked me and BS if we were dating yet, and BS was like "I dunno, are you my girlfriend?" and I just said yes. It wasn't like "Oh, that doesn't seem like a bad idea" it was like "dang, thats a really good idea" But after it came out of my mouth, I realized I was high and I was going to regret saying that. Anyways, once we got to the field, we started talking to Andrea. My mouth got so dry at that point, it was insane. Forgetting and remembering everything started happening less frequently when I was standing still, so I tried not to walk alot. I don't remember alot, but I kept talking to people. It felt like a test, trying to focus and maintain a conversation so they wouldn't know. I started to have fun- a LOT of fun. The lady I bought a fanta from was like from willy wonka, I swear. Anyways, me and broderick half cuddled because I kept remembering it was a bad idea. Once the high was gone, I kind of ditched him and didn't come back. I could tell I really pissed him off, and I felt bad. I left at the third quarter and I went to go give him his hoody, and when I gave him a hug to leave, he kissed me. And man it was kind of great. I toold him last night through text that I didn't know what I was talking about when I said yes to him, and I was completely out of it. We're good now and we've been texting a lot, but I still feel bad. We might hang out tomorrow. I'm excited.
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